We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty. – Mother Teresa

As I am sure many of you do, I like to give or donate $1 or $2 to the homeless huddling at intersections. I personally do this because I feel the pain that stems from myself having just one meal a day in the past (as evidenced in the About Me section). I want to teach my children that giving and sharing is virtuous so this is why we have $1 bills stashed away in my car and my wife’s car in case we find ourselves in the position of handing them out to those in need. But, always in the back of my mind, a nagging feeling of if the money is being put to its intended use. Are the funds going to food or water instead of drugs, cigarettes or alcohol?

After having a casual discussion regarding this topic and sharing the below story with an office colleague (now a family friend/mentor), they suggested an innovative way of giving, and I am implementing it with a little more confidence knowing that the money I am giving is being put to the proper use.

Here is the story I shared with that colleague:

My entire family (this includes my wife and two children) went to have lunch at the Cheesecake Factory one weekend during the summer of 2014. My son ate too many appetizers and scoffed down loaves and loaves of his favorite free bread. When it came to enjoying his main course, a lovely toasted sandwich and fries, he had no room in his belly for even one bite; he ended up barely even touching it. Instead, we asked for a “to go” container and went on our merry way. During the drive home, just two signal lights from the restaurant, we encountered a teenager with a placard asking for help since he was in desperate need of food. It didn’t help that the weather was outrageously hot with temperatures hovering around 90+ degrees Fahrenheit. In the car, our family came up with a plan, on the fly, to make the teenager’s life a little easier.

Do your little bit of good where you are, it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. – Archbishop Desmond Tutu

• My first intention was to give the individual a dollar, but my son was adamant about doubling that amount to two dollars.

• Next, as we were driving off, my son asked, “Can we please give him our ‘to go’ food container?” I immediately agreed so we drove around the corner and asked if he was ok taking the food while explaining they were not leftovers nor was it half-eaten; it was basically untouched. We needn’t have worried so much about the explanation of the food since he accepted it without question.

• As we were driving off again, my son said, “Dad, it’s super-hot outside. Wouldn’t it be nice if we gave him some water to go with his sandwich?” My son is a compassionate soul. So, I drove around the corner, once again, and gave him two bottles of cold water we had stashed in a mini cooler in the car.

• Again, as we were driving off, my son once again mentioned how sad he was feeling about the homeless teenager and how the teenager’s shirt looked a little worse for wear, with its holes and tears. I am not entirely sure what came over me, but the sympathetic and compassionate nature of my son had something to do with it. Without another moment’s thought, I asked my son if I should give him the shirt I was presently wearing. As luck would have it, I was wearing two shirts that fateful day…one undershirt and another brand-new shirt I had just purchased a few days prior. So, I took one final turn around that corner to give the teenager the shirt from my back and then finally drove home. My son was happy, I was happy, the teenager certainly seemed happy, at least, for that day or a moment.

After the entire episode, as any typical parent would do, I gave my son a lecture about what had transpired. I first commended his kind and compassionate nature regarding the destitute teenager we witnessed. He did all the right things…he offered the boy food and clothing and water. I also lectured my son on how not to end up in situations like that teenager. I explained how important it was to stay on track regarding education. A degree is something that is earned, and that no one can take that from you. I also told him to make sure not to fall in with the wrong crowd and to keep a level head. I explained that one bad decision could ruin his entire life and it would be very difficult to get things back on track once the damage was done.

I mentioned the incident to a couple more of my close friends and never gave it much thought again until my recent discussion with my colleague that I mentioned earlier. My colleague told me she also had a similar discussion with her daughter regarding the whereabouts of the money being given by many people to the homeless located at intersections all over the city, and country, for that matter. Are these handouts being put to good use, or going to further fuel their bad habits…habits that led them to find themselves at the intersection in the first place?

They had a different solution: gift cards! After they had explained it to me, I completely agreed that it was, in fact, a wonderful idea. So wonderful, in fact, that I began to implement the idea from that day forward, but still carry the dollar bills. Old habits, I guess.

I had gift cards from various stores collected over the years. I also took it upon myself to purchase gift cards for Jamba Juice, Mc Donald’s and In-n-Out Burger in order to hand out the appropriate card based on location. I would totally avoid gift cards from stores like Target, Walmart, and others which had access to alcohol or cigarettes. Why even offer the inkling of temptation?

Finally, other than experiencing the satisfaction of helping others we, as a family, must remind ourselves the value of many things we have which, more often than not, are taken for granted.

There are many interesting ideas and thoughts that can be taken away from the above, simply by having discussions around this topic at the dinner table or during “family time”. You have nothing to lose and so much to gain from a simple conversation.