The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. – Mahatma Gandhi

I would like to begin this article by saying that definitely, without a doubt, I have made some mistakes in my life. Some knowingly and others unknowingly, now that I can look back on it. In retrospect, I would not categorize any of these mistakes as big or small since something that might be small for me could very well be big for other individuals.

Therefore, once I had my realization moment, my “epiphany”, I thought, “What can I do?” First, I will try not to commit any more mistakes. Impossible? Yes. Attemptable? Why not? Next, what about the things I have done that are now in the past? Are some of these errors fixable? Is it too late? Can they be salvaged? At the very least, can I or others learn from these mistakes, so they do not happen again?

My plan is to delve even further into my past to connect with people I had wronged to seek forgiveness for mistakes I had made and still agonized about. Mistakes made when I was a teenager in high school and college; mistakes made with family and friends. Social media has been a huge help to uncover these individuals I had wronged. I am on a mission. I was going to issue apologies and seek forgiveness from every person I had ever wronged or remember wronging.

My solution to this conundrum was to test out my theory as outlined in the scenarios mentioned below. While going through these scenarios, I wished to ask for forgiveness, irrespective of who was in the right or who was in the wrong in these situations where conflicts occurred.

Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them. – Bruce Lee

• I reached out to two of my ex-employers, from 2000 and 2001, who I left for greener pastures and better opportunities which resulted in some serious conflicts. The choices I had made then had been eating away at my soul for the past 18 years, so I finally decided to send each of them an email. And would you believe it? I received a response from one of them within a few short days which led to a quick chat over the phone after more than 15 years of radio silence. Amazing!

Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning. – Desmond Tutu

• This one also dates back to the year 2000. While living with friends, we had a conflict regarding a shared phone bill which skyrocketed to an obscenely high amount. When I moved out, I thought nothing of the bill and figured it was taken care of by the others, until three years later, a call from a collection agency had my name as the owner of the exorbitant phone bill. I immediately contacted my ex roommates and had an exchange of words resulting in not being in contact with a few any longer. It was a conversation based on the pressure I was receiving to pay the astronomical bill and the resources I didn’t have to pay for it. I wanted remuneration, but not all my “friends” were helping. I, too, have to take blame for not putting myself in their shoes. I needed to ask for forgiveness here as I missed my roommates, friendships and all the good time I had with them. A silly phone bill will not be the catalyst for enemy-making. Time to apologize and ask for forgiveness and reconnect.

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

• I asked my one and only little brother to forgive me since I was apparently giving him too much advice on how to live his life, and most of it unsolicited. From my perspective, they were subtle suggestions on how to make his life better and brighter and more successful. Unfortunately, I keep on forgetting that although he is, in fact, my younger brother, he is still an adult. This resulted in him and me not speaking to each other for several days months at a time. It was neither helpful nor healthy. It didn’t make matters any better that he lives in the U.K. and I in the U.S. Asking for forgiveness in this situation was a relative no-brainer. Your family bonding should always be strong and never be broken under any circumstances.

Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave. – Indira Gandhi

• I recently asked my 12-year old son to forgive me because of one single statement he made while observing me for a period of 10 days in late 2017 while I was hard at work on a project. His exact words: “Dad, I had never seen you so happy in my entire life”. His statement made me reflect on how much pressure, pushing and shouting I inflicted on him, harping on him to focus on his homework. It made me think our bond needed some serious repair. I say this because he was able to express himself with his mother about his displeasure with me, not with me, myself. He was unable to open up to me for fear of retaliation from me. This was not good. It made me incredibly sad. It made me realize that I had to reevaluate my bond with my child. Something had to change. First, I needed his forgiveness before change was to be made.

You are probably asking yourself what came of these past-dwelling forgiveness exercises. I will tell you. Today, I am happier, more compassionate and filled with new energy simply by asking for forgiveness from those that I truly love. And this was irrespective of actually being responded to or forgiven. I had been carrying this deep-seated feeling of guilt for so many years, that after my bout with forgiveness to those who merited it most, the guilt seemed to evaporate and vanish completely. I am on a mission to pay it forward to you…my readers with a small hope it may inspire someone or anyone who might want to try it, too.

My main objective with this forgiveness exercises was that I needed to cherish the moments with those individuals instead of the one or a few situations which resulted in conflict. Once I held this new view, everything else was small and achievable resolved itself with ease. I will keep doing or going at it until I cannot think of any.

I highly recommend you give it a try. Without a doubt, you, too, will feel and be a different person. Success with be your true friend and you will be able to resolve any conflict.